How to Give Less F*cks

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Readers who’ve stopped doing stuff you thought you “ought to”: What recommendation would you give on the best way to give much less f*cks? A reader began an interesting thread just a few months in the past by saying she was “Searching for ‘f it’ perspective issues,” and there have been some actually nice solutions, so let’s speak about it at this time!

Editor’s Be aware: I believe it might bodily ache me to not level out that we’re conscious “the best way to give fewer f*cks” could be the grammatically right phrase — however that may sound foolish. /nitpicking

Plenty of ladies say that reaching their 40s (or thereabouts) helped them developed a common “f*ck it” perspective. (See the poem “Warning” by Jenny Joseph — you already know, the basic purple + purple hats one.) Becoming a parent can also help — and it begins throughout labor and childbirth, when your inhibitions shortly exit the window.

One mild and foolish instance: As a 40-something, I actually don’t care if random folks suppose it’s odd that I’m middle-aged and generally put on Hi there Kitty shirts or earrings. (Come on, she’s simply so cute!) That isn’t to say that I solely left behind any self-consciousness once I bid farewell to my 30s, as a result of, no — however I care much less about a number of issues.

{associated: do you have a new “beauty minimum”? [CorporetteMoms]}

The pandemic and ensuing pivot to distant work additionally made a huge impact on many ladies’s concepts of how they “ought to” look and costume. Keep in mind all these articles declaring “Girls have stopped sporting bras!” and “Girls have stopped sporting excessive heels!”? We did a post on this in mid-2020, actually — and readers additionally shared their ideas on it in this comment thread from 2021.

Alongside these strains, right here’s a sampling of issues readers talked about within the newer thread that they now not do — or have by no means executed:

• Social stuff: Discovering the “good” present, saying sure to social occasions you don’t need to attend, holding on to undesirable presents fairly than regifting/donating
• Look stuff: Caring about your weight, overlaying grays, eradicating physique hair, sporting costly garments/make-up, sporting a coverup on the seashore
• Work stuff: Baking/cooking for workplace potlucks, working late or on weekends if not essential
• House stuff: Going all-out for holidays, making your house pristine earlier than internet hosting

In fact, some folks like to do a lot of these items (I actually take pleasure in discovering the proper present and adorning rather a lot for holidays, for instance), whereas others choose to kick ’em to the curb.

{associated: do, delegate, NOPE: holiday edition [CorporetteMoms]}

So, readers, do inform: What do you say “f*ck it!” to? What issues did you used to search out vital (or suppose it is best to discover vital) however now couldn’t care much less about? Which of the habits within the bulleted record have you ever ditched — or like to do?